Feedback from the Keiser Writing Studio (staff only):
Hi Yenny,
This is an inte
Feedback from the Keiser Writing Studio (staff only):
Hi Yenny,
This is an interesting topic and one that should yield plenty of recent research studies that you can use as sources.
I have provided in-line feedback on your paper, and am also offer explanatory comments below:
1. Please follow the directions for the assignment as provided by your instructor on the OWL Submission Form. I am copy/pasting below some of these requirements:
A. Write between 1,200 – 1,500 words.
B. Effectively organize your paper. Write a clear introduction, thesis statement, multiple body paragraphs supporting the thesis statement, a counterpoint within the essay, and a clear conclusion.
C. Use at least four sources.
Using a source means quoting, paraphrasing, and/or summarizing it, including a citation each time it is being used.
Reference each source you use in your reference list.
You should use the following sources:
Three peer-reviewed academic journal sources from Keiser’s e-Library
At least one additional credible source, which may include the e-Library, government source or another reputable location. (If you are unsure of what may count, please confirm with your instructor.)
Your instructor has also specified that a certain percent of grade points will be deducted for failure to meet these requirements. I am concerned because at present your paper does not meet any of these requirements.
At 350 words, it falls far short of the required word count.
Looking at point B above, I did see supporting ideas and counterpoints, but they were not developed with adequate support or organized into separate paragraphs. In my in-line feedback, I pointed out that a thesis statement was also needed at the end of the introductory paragraph.
I also did not see three scholarly, peer-reviewed sources from KU’s e-library. Nor were paraphrases from sources accompanied by in-text citations.
2. Please familiarize yourself with the APA-Style Guidelines for writing a paper. In my inline feedback, I have added links to a few websites. Do hope you will go through these websites and apply the guidelines to a revised draft of your paper.
3. The following link takes you to a sample APA-Style paper. Please note formatting, paragraph development and unity, and other aspects of the paper, and use these as an example for your revised draft:
https://owl.excelsior.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/ArgumentEssayAcrossDisciplinesAPA.pdf
4. Every source listed under References must have at least one matching in-text citation. In-text citations and reference listings work in tandem with each other. In-text citations identify which ideas in the text were borrowed from sources, and the more detailed reference listings provide complete information for each source so that if readers want to look at the source, they should have no problem doing so. Failing to use either reference listings without in-text citations, or in-text citations without matching references, could result in a charge of plagiarism.
My intention behind the feedback I provide is always to help “nudge” an assignment towards a better grade, and I hope that you will find my comments helpful.
Remember that writing is a process, and it is perfectly normal to revise and refine your work. I encourage you to reach out to me with any questions that you have about my notes. I’m here to help you succeed and will gladly provide further support.
Thank you for trusting the OWL with your paper, and I hope you will continue to do so.
You can also follow links in the OWL to ask questions in our Question Room, follow links to APA Help, and find other presentations.
Best wishes,